A year ago, everything was different. Now, reflecting on my past, I realize that one year can do a lot to a person. At the beginning of this year, I was stuck in a toxic relationship. At first everything was amazing, but I’ve come to the conclusion that you learn more about a person at the end of the relationship versus the beginning. Throughout our three-year relationship, we had our ups and downs; though, I feel the good certainly outweighed the bad. But other times, I sit in my room, stare at the wall, and wonder why I ever allowed him to treat me the way he did. Though I've never endured physical abuse, I feel that mental abuse can be just as damaging. I allowed him to get into my head and make me believe things about myself that were untrue. I repeatedly asked myself; “ Am I good enough? Am I pretty enough? Do I have anxiety or depression?” I would battle with these ideas, until I felt numb inside. I changed into someone I did not want to be, and I didn't notice until after the relationship ended. Now, I have fresh eyes. I stayed with him for so long, because I didn't want to give up on what we had. I now realize ‘giving up’ doesn't mean you're weak. Letting go means you're strong, smart, and able to see what is best for YOU.
Joyce Meyer once said “No matter what you are going through, you’re going to make it. And when you come out on the other end, you’re going to be a better person.” After many hours of reflection, I realize I was too hard on myself. I now see how wise and strong I have become because of all of this. I believe self acceptance is extremely important; I am strong in my morals and beliefs and no matter what I go through, this will remain true.
Near the end, I met a group of girls just like myself whom I now call my bestfriends. We help each other grow, and inspire each other to be our best selves, and aspire to live our best lives. By truly being themselves, they have changed me without even trying. They picked me up from a low place and made me realize there's way more to life. I realize now I only have one life and I will not spend it questioning, regretting, hating, and running after people who refuse to see the real me. I'd rather spend it aspiring to be a giver. A giver of love, good vibes, and strength. Now, I live the life I've always wanted no matter what, spending it with the people who make me happy each and every day.
As soon as I figure out how to upload a video, it'll be right here!